As mom’s contemplating homeschooling we have a million and one questions and uncertainties swarming around us. I think the first one that rears it’s not-so-pleasant self is the question of, “How do I know this is right for my family?” Or “How will I know when it’s time to take this on?” Along with those two questions we play devils advocate with ourselves, no help from the outside world needed on this one, I promise you, you will talk yourself out of it 500 times before anyone else can. We know our deepest fears, our backgrounds, our weaknesses, our selfish ambitions better than anyone on the internet ever could. Therefor, no matter how much encouragement we may receive from our spouse or other homeschoolers, and no matter how pumped up we get from reading “how to be the perfect homeschool mom” blogs, it all comes down to one thing….JUST DOING IT!
I am preaching to myself right now people as I sit here with my three oldest kiddos sitting in a 5th, 3rd and Kindergarten classrooms down the street at a school that is less than in comparison to our other schooling experiences. I just want to slap myself as I have talked myself out of homeschooling them for 37th time today. I am full of valid reasons, I tell myself: I want to be able to write the book I’ve had on my heart for the past 10 years, I want to play with the baby on my own, I want to fold this laundry (that is still sitting on my table from two days ago) in peace and quite. One excuse after another, but the hard truth for me personally is I am scared.
In addition to the dialogue we have with ourselves about all of the personal reasons why we don’t want to take the plunge, we then have about million other reasons having to do with not wanting to mess our kids up! They need friends, I will miss an important part of curriculum they need to make it through college and life, etc. Again, these are all valid concerns..
BUT
If we even have an inkling that we may need to homeschool our kids we need to explore that. Obviously, most children strive in structure and consistency so we don’t want to be playing the back and forth game with their schooling, it can get messy real fast. Believe me I know, I’ve been the mess-maker. Whatever you choose to do try and stick with it at least a full semester. Some schools (yes, even homeschool environments) or teachers may be unhealthy to our child and we need to act fast in those situations. Having an accurate assessment of who we are as people and who are children are can really help with being in-tune with what is working and what needs tweaking. We cannot sit in denial in the hopes that something is going to change. There is a time to be praying for God’s nudge and a time to respond to it, listen to that holy spirit and be obedient even when it is time for hard things.
I will never forget the day I walked my oldest Wyatt into the local school down the street from our old house to register him. He was just about to turn 7 and well into his first grade year of school. I had kept him home for the duration of kindergarten after making a military move from Crofton, Maryland to Plant City, Florida in the middle of his kindergarten year. He started off in an exceptional elementary school on the east coast only to find that the learning in the strawberry fields of Florida was geared towards students with English as a second Language. I felt I had been being groomed to homeschool in the years prior as God continued to place me in circles of women that homeschooled and even placed me in a church where the pastor wife was a homeschooling mom. So I took it on! Along with, raising a 3 and 1 year old, planting a MOPS group, and finishing up my Masters degree. Sounds real smooth right? Lord knows when I am going to do something I go all in problem was I was “All in” in all of the things I was doing. By February of his first grade year I crashed and burned. The Lord lay it on my heart that I needed to hand over many things. I stopped my masters for a bit, I handed over lots of my obligations at church, and I sent my precious child to public school.
Walking through those halls I felt like the biggest failure on planet Earth. The tears I cried that day have left a salty stain on my homeschooling journey, one I am grateful for and one I would never change. This acceptance of limits shaped me as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, as a woman for God, as a homeschool teacher, and as a person. My dear friend sent me a link that day to the Song “It is well with my soul” by Bethel Music. I couldn’t get into my car fast enough the day I dropped him off, tears had already begun to stream down my face by the time I left his classroom. I made it home, hit play on the song falling to my knees in my closet, it was all I could do in that moment. Fully embrace the situation and accept the love Jesus still had for me.
God calls us to all sort of things, some are seasons of saying “yes”, others are seasons of letting go of some of those yes’. That decision I made all those years ago is still well with my soul even through the sting of failure that tries to sneak in.
A few years later, after our move from Florida to Colorado I was going through our files and old schooling materials as I came across ALL of the work Wyatt had completed and the thought just hit me like a wave, “we did some work boy!” He learned to read, write, do math, cook, formulate proper sentences, and so much more that I was even blown away by it! This is even further proof there is a God: 1.Because with everything that was going on during that time only God could give me the energy needed to put in that kind of teaching and 2. Wyatt learned all of that in-spite of my teaching. God will fill all the learning gaps, do not worry about that! Just to redeem myself a little bit here, Wyatt is my strongest reader so far. Thank you Jesus for giving me that knowledge and resources needed to make this statement true!
I would again have the privilege of homeschooling Wyatt and my daughter Faith during their 3rd and 1st grade years. This time I did it with the help of a weekly co-op and it was fantastic. Was it Perfect? No, nothing is. But this time I had the confidence I did not have before. Each time we do something, we learn something and it gets less scary. Don’t let your failure tell you what you can and cannot do for the rest of your life! I can now say that homeschooling my children where some of the best and most challenging days of my life. I would not be able to make that statement had I not of tried. Now, excuse me while I go check my kids out of school for good, at least for the remainder of this semester…Maybe. Just kidding, I know what I need to do. Do you? Pray for me! I will be praying for you as well.
One day at a time, one semester at a time, one God fearing obedient “yes” or not yet at a time and we will get there. I promise you, we will make it through, and it will be just as it should be as long as we keep our eyes on Jesus and not on ourselves.
You can do hard things!
XOXO
JoAnna
Ruth Collective LLC. 
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